judgement and some rhyming words

by john

how could something so good
slowly turn sour

how could we have thought we understood
when everything changed in an hour

memories fade like thermal paper
kept in a wallet so long

we’ll deal with it later,
we said

in the end, it turned out all wrong.

***

i haven’t been writing very often. i always feel that my thoughts are private and the more people know me the more vulnerable i am. but perhaps this means that i am not living in true accordance to my values.

i always say “做人不要比较”, which basically means one should not compare oneself if one is to be a human being. is there any point in making oneself feel inferior when in fact everyone is different? One cannot compare but it is very tempting to do so. However, if one is to compare one should at least compare themselves to their heroes and work towards them rather than feeling content about one’s own status.

the past year i have learnt that it is very easy to judge people. but in fact it is much harder not to judge people. it is very easy to say that something is stupid or that something not to your taste is somehow inferior, but it is very hard to understand why someone does something. if one were to visualize an iceberg, which has 90% of its mass underwater, the tip of the iceberg that is visible to us if we were on the floating on the surface of the water is what we see: the behavior or action. the things we dont see are the reasons behind it, which may be infinitely complex.

that being said, it is also interesting to consider the reasons why people do things. for example, one may post a picture of oneself at an exciting place or event of themselves doing something that represents “who they are”. we should however keep in mind that these things that are shown to other people may only be a very small part of their lives. in the book “steal like an artist” by austin kleon, the author argues that one should share what one believes in and their work. what, however is the value of attention? a favorite, like or comment does no real justice to the complexity of our feelings and emotions, as if the human condition can be simplified into a click of a button. a group of my students complained to me when we went on a hike that we hadn’t taken any pictures to show their parents and friends, which got me thinking about whether we do things for the sake of the thing itself or rather, for a chance to build an image of ourselves on an online profile. i sincerely hope that it’s not for validation from peers for a feeling of self-worth, for if self-worth came from others our lives would be very miserable indeed and at the whims of the moods of others.

it is also difficult to understand oneself. this in fact may be the hardest thing to do, and perhaps is something that may never ever be achieved. i don’t know why i wrote this, but it seemed appropriate to write something in response to the shit i see everywhere (i judged!!!)

alas, it is nearly impossible not to judge unless one lived in an environment devoid of all other human life. also, we need to be able to judge in order to survive and to enjoy life. however, there are many types of judgement, and one should definitely exercise their best judgement when deciding what things to judge and what things not to…

***